Anyway, I was at work today. Where do I work? At NASA, for all you know. Maybe if I told you, I'd have to kill you. Maybe my office is just a cardboard box.
The point is, I showed up, because if I don't, they don't pay me. There's some system (what system? THE SYSTEM) dubbed "alpha" that I don't really have access to (WHICH IS TOTALLY BOGUS, RIGHT?) and a co-worker - let's call him "Jesus Christ" - asked me if I had access to "beta." I got the joke (it's kinda complicated, but most of it has to do with the fact that there's really no system named "beta") so I chuckled and said "my whole life is beta." And then I started thinking again about how websites used to have those "Under Construction" pictures on them, like this:
or, on sites that catered to misogynists, like this:
Now, the current trend seems to be labeling things "beta." Gmail wasn't "under construction," it was "beta". Facebook wasn't tinkering with the layout, it was "in beta". So, in keeping this stylish and trendy and "hep," my blog will be perpetually "beta." Yup, gotta keep it fresh.
So, in the interests of keepin' it fresh, and in the interest of what we in the business call "a narrative arc," I'm inviting you into my focus group. How's my grammar? How's my punctuation? Should I use more "quotes"? (Should I put more stuff in parentheses?) Is it all too meta? Are the links too frequent or redundant or arbitrary, or not arbitrary enough? More puppies, maybe?
With enough prayers - OR MONEY - I will change this blog in order to serve you, the consumer, better.
Or I can continue to suck. That's probably easier for everyone.
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