21 April, 2009

Haterade

I'm part of this online focus group - it's confidential, so don't tell anyone!
They asked me to personify Gatorade and Powerade Zero, so this is what I told them:

I picture Gatorade as a neighbor who's always trying to sell me a timeshare in Florida. He's always playing basketball in his driveway with his friends or putting in the backyard or swimming in his pool. I can never figure out what he does for a living. Gatorade seems unable to talk about anything except sports and celebrities - he strikes me as really shallow. I avoid him whenever I can.


Powerade Zero is the guy who lives across the street from Gatorade - he does everything Gatorade does, but he's less popular. It's obvious to everyone Powerade Zero is jealous of Gatorade, but Powerade Zero refuses to admit it to anyone unless he's drunk. Powerade Zero is more pathetic than obnoxious.


I'll be lucky if they don't kick me out - I need the $100!

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